![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So I still had some stuff over in my old bedroom at my parents' place, like under the bed and whatnot, so I finally went over there and took a gander, and found like ALL the notebooks I started writing (mostly fanfiction) in.
Oh. Em. Gee. It was terrible and hilarious and nostalgic and terrible.
The (w)angst! The self-insert Mary-Sues! The rushed romances! The clear lack of understanding of how sex actually works! The painful anachronisms in historical fics! The even more painful usage of late '90s pop songs! And did I mention the (w)angst? I just want to travel back in time and tell my 12-13 year-old self, "DON'T DO IT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T DO IT."
I wish I had a bonfire pit because I would so burn those notebooks to destroy the horrid, horrid evidence they provide. As it is, I'm utilizing a paper shredder because these poor things must be destroyed, and I'm too embarrassed to simply put the very whole, very readable papers into the recycling. There are a couple of the "better" ones I think I'll hold onto for nostalgic purposes, but ZOMG the rest have got to go.
Obviously I know that if it weren't for all those badfics, I wouldn't be where I am now, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that they are badfics. I recall having the same reaction when I looked through my high-school art portfolio. Though there wasn't nearly so much disgust and embarrassment.
Still, I take comfort in the fact that, technically, I was a pretty damn kick-ass writer for a tween. Proper dialogue tags, good paragraph breaks, correct spelling (I think I remember using a pocket dictionary and thesaurus, to be honest...). I even knew how to use a semi-colon, though they still made me a little nervous--kind of like driver's ed, when they let you off the parking lot and onto the actual road.
I kind of have to wonder, though... Pretty much ALL of those stories from way back when were romances. And once I started writing...well, I can't say "professionally," but once I started writing seriously, romance pretty much got thrown out the window. I can't help but wonder if that was a subconscious reaction against all those romances.
It's an interesting thought. And now I have a lot of shredding to do.
Oh. Em. Gee. It was terrible and hilarious and nostalgic and terrible.
The (w)angst! The self-insert Mary-Sues! The rushed romances! The clear lack of understanding of how sex actually works! The painful anachronisms in historical fics! The even more painful usage of late '90s pop songs! And did I mention the (w)angst? I just want to travel back in time and tell my 12-13 year-old self, "DON'T DO IT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T DO IT."
I wish I had a bonfire pit because I would so burn those notebooks to destroy the horrid, horrid evidence they provide. As it is, I'm utilizing a paper shredder because these poor things must be destroyed, and I'm too embarrassed to simply put the very whole, very readable papers into the recycling. There are a couple of the "better" ones I think I'll hold onto for nostalgic purposes, but ZOMG the rest have got to go.
Obviously I know that if it weren't for all those badfics, I wouldn't be where I am now, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that they are badfics. I recall having the same reaction when I looked through my high-school art portfolio. Though there wasn't nearly so much disgust and embarrassment.
Still, I take comfort in the fact that, technically, I was a pretty damn kick-ass writer for a tween. Proper dialogue tags, good paragraph breaks, correct spelling (I think I remember using a pocket dictionary and thesaurus, to be honest...). I even knew how to use a semi-colon, though they still made me a little nervous--kind of like driver's ed, when they let you off the parking lot and onto the actual road.
I kind of have to wonder, though... Pretty much ALL of those stories from way back when were romances. And once I started writing...well, I can't say "professionally," but once I started writing seriously, romance pretty much got thrown out the window. I can't help but wonder if that was a subconscious reaction against all those romances.
It's an interesting thought. And now I have a lot of shredding to do.
