as long as we're going down

[fic] Star Trek (TNG) - "Not Like I Faint Every Time We Touch"

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 23:42:32 GMT

Title: Not Like I Faint Every Time We Touch
Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Romance (unrequited), crack treated seriously
Characters/pairings: Linda Larson, Reginald Barclay (Larson->Barclay).
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,183
Summary: In which Lieutenant Linda Larson develops an embarrassing crush. (Takes place during “The Nth Degree.” Inspired by these two Tumblr posts.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( It was his overstepping of authority that really made her stop and look at him—the sheer audacity of it. And the words ''Reg Barclay'' and ''audacity'' went together about as well as Captain Picard and children did. )

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[fic] Original Work - "Sharp As Glass and Twice As Bright" (Chapter 2/2?)

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 21:45:56 GMT

Title: Sharp As Glass and Twice As Bright
Fandom: Original Work
Genre: Western, drama, romance?
Characters/relationships: Outlaw Heroine/Deputy Hero
Rating: R
Word count: 852
Summary: Unexpected follow-up piece to this story. Weird, dark enemies-to-lovers in the Old West. Originally inspired by a pulp magazine cover. Full content warnings on AO3.

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( ''It was pretty stupid of you,'' Utah said, albeit not unkindly, ''to provoke that deputy like you did.'' )

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[fic] Original Work - "Sharp As Glass and Twice As Bright"

Sun, 18 Feb 2024 20:32:06 GMT

Title: Sharp As Glass and Twice As Bright
Fandom: Original Work
Genre: Western, drama, romance?
Characters/relationships: Outlaw Heroine/Deputy Hero
Rating: R
Word count: 734
Summary: They really should have gagged him. That would have been the sensible thing to do. (An original piece inspired by a pulp magazine cover. Image also included inside the fic on AO3, along with full content warnings.)

Now has a follow-up piece!

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( ''I swear I'll hunt you down and see you hanged for this,'' he seethed. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Remis"

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 17:52:11 GMT

Title: Remis
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, romance.
Characters: Paula Ingram, Red (Jack Delafield), Uncle Jerry
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 797
Summary: Her hands grabbed at his lapels, feeling the firm plane of his chest underneath, and involuntarily, a little cry rose in her throat. To have him! To finally have him! Her bandit, her would-be bank robber, the man who’d stolen her so completely, body and soul. (Or, in which Paula’s uncle rocks up, fearing something’s wrong after chasing her across the country, only to find her making out with his substitute butler, bless. Missing scene from the short story.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( His kiss was like an explosion. )

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[fic] This Gun For Hire (1942) - "And Foolish Though It May Seem (To Me, That's Everything)"

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 23:02:27 GMT

Title: And Foolish Though It May Seem (To Me, That’s Everything)
Fandom: This Gun For Hire (1942)
Genre: AU, drama, romance.
Characters/pairings: Philip Raven/Ellen Graham
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,662
Summary: When had their roles gotten reversed, she suddenly wondered. She was the one who was supposed to worry about him, or so she’d thought. He’d had such a rougher time of things, after all. (Or, a missing scene from They’ll Ask Me Why and I’ll Tell Them I’d Rather, that takes place the day after Ellen’s breakdown.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( The back door to the kitchen was propped wide open, spilling a measure of light and noise out into the alley behind the club. Ellen approached it a little reticently, tugging at the wrist of one of her mesh gloves. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Middlegame"

Sun, 30 Jul 2023 01:29:10 GMT

Title: Middlegame
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, gen.
Characters: Paula Ingram, Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2,624
Summary: As if he could read her mind—or else just the worried expression on her face—Red spoke: “Let me assure you, Paula, that this is all strictly business. Now, please,” he urged, with a gesture at her plate, “enjoy the meal.” (Or, Red treats Paula to dinner in his apartment after he kidnaps her. Expanded/missing scene from the short story. For those keeping track at home, it immediately follows the events of previous fic Checkmate, and immediately precedes those of Clever Crab On This Eastern Seashore.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( The table was set gracefully despite its small size, with a glowing pair of white tapered candles and a deceptively simple centerpiece of three red roses. Numbly, Paula let Red lead her to one side, and she felt strangely like she was going to her own execution, or else something equally as dire. )

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[fic] Love For the Asking - "Soul of My Heart, Spirit of My Soul"

Wed, 22 Mar 2023 16:33:23 GMT

Title: Soul of My Heart, Spirit of My Soul
Fandom: Love For the Asking (Short Story)
Genre: Gen, pre-romance.
Characters: Nadia Minor, Drew Carteret
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2,626
Summary: “So is that what this visit is about?” she asked, with a mocking lift of her eyebrow. “Checking in on your investment?” Somehow things had a tendency to turn sarcastic between them. It was easier that way, she’d found. Easier with the emotional distance it created. (Or, a pre-canon fic based on yet another pulp story no one has read since it was initially published, pfft. We’ve got opera, class differences, complicated relationships, and the “walking in on someone” trope, baby! The original story, for reference, also involves class differences and complicated relationships, along with mutual pining and fake marriage. It can be read here (with a written summary/review of it here), but in the event you don’t want to bother with either of those, let it be known that I do provide some background context in the pre-fic notes.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( In truth, the shower made for difficult singing if one was trying to do it with anything resembling a formal technique. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Relative Pin"

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 19:44:39 GMT

Title: Relative Pin
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, gen.
Characters: Paula Ingram, Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 973
Summary: “I wouldn’t try it,” Red said, interrupting her thoughts as clearly as if she’d been speaking them aloud. His voice was soft, yet with an unmistakable edge of warning. “Those woods go for miles and I’d catch you in no time.” (Or, Paula and Red stop for gas after he hijacks her car and effectively kidnaps her. As usual, the original short story can be found here.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( They stopped at a filling station a few miles outside of Chester, just as the sun was going down. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Queen's Gambit Accepted"

Sat, 20 Aug 2022 17:27:39 GMT

Title: Queen’s Gambit Accepted
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Romance, smut. (See AO3 post for full content tags.)
Characters/pairings: Paula Ingram/Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: R
Word count: 866
Summary: Truly, her husband could be so patient when he needed to be. But then, he’d already proven that a long time ago, hadn’t he? (Post-canon fic. As before, the original short story can be found here.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( Paula sighed as she unclasped her garters and slid her stockings down her legs. )

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Year In Writing Review 2021

Sat, 01 Jan 2022 21:55:43 GMT

List of fics (in order of publication--there were a lot this year!):

Wherever You Are [This Gun For Hire; 1,430 words]
Till You’re Walking Beside Me [TGFH; 3,020 words]
Each Cloud Contains [TGFH; 1,564 words]
Forward and Reverse (Part 1) [Hetalia; 7,564 words]
They Say You Love and You Learn [Black Angel; 252 words]
I Try To Pretend, Saying That I Don’t Mind It [Black Angel; 286 words]
I’ve Much To Regret [Black Angel; 1,679 words]
I’m Not Yours Anymore, You’re Mine [TGFH; 1,330 words]
Now You See It, Now You Don’t [TGFH; 358 words]
Catherine and the Pirate (The Reformed Criminal Remix) (Chapter 11) [2,372 words]
When Nothing Daunts You [Black Angel; 318 words]
While I’m In Your Spell [Black Angel; 1,469 words]
’Til Stars of Evening Cease To Burn [Black Angel; 318 words]
But the Tables Have Turned [TGFH; 494 words]
En Passant [The Love Pawn; 1,370 words]
Zugzwang [The Love Pawn; 955 words]
Checkmate [The Love Pawn; 1,207 words]
Clever Crab On This Eastern Seashore [The Love Pawn; 1,521 words]
En Prise [The Love Pawn; 468 words]
A Thief In the Night [Her Friend, the Burglar; 1,632 words]
Madwoman’s Chess [The Love Pawn; 2,163 words]
Black Knights’ Tango [The Love Pawn; 1,852 words]

Also, all the formal reviews I’ve written this year (and previously), can be found on my WordPress.

( Happy 2022 and all that! )

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Today on Fandom Discourse Absolutely Nobody Asked For:

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 20:10:58 GMT

(Posted to my tumblr, but cross-posted here because it is the sort of meta discussion I’ve posted here before ~~and also I want to have a reasonable chance of finding it again someday~~.)

Was Raven of This Gun For Hire a victim of rape in his reform school days?

It’s a question I’ve honestly asked myself in the course of my fic writing, because prison rape was and still is a thing, obviously, and if we’re to believe that Philip Raven the character physically resembles Alan Ladd the actor, then I have a hard time believing he wouldn’t have been the target of at least some sort of sexual harassment/assault. Ladd was, after all, boyishly handsome and famously small in stature. Most sources put his height at 5’6”, and while the film pulls off some cinematography tricks to make him appear a bit taller, the character is still by no means a large dude; I’d put Raven at 5’8”, tops. And again, if we assume the character followed the same growth trajectory as the actor, then he was probably similarly small as a boy. (And even if he wasn’t, there’s still the fact that he was only fourteen when he went in, and presumably would have been doing time with boys who were older and more physically developed. My research on early 20th century reform schools is sketchy at best, but the age of majority at the time was twenty-one, which leads me to believe he could/would have been interacting with dudes as old as twenty.)

So with all that in mind, we come back to the question at the top: Was Raven raped in reform school? The short answer is no, I don’t think he was—and this is not just wishful thinking on my part, but a genuine extrapolation of his character.

( Tl;dr: No, never raped, but probably felt up in some respect. The aggressor(s) would have gotten shanked before they could go any further. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Black Knights' Tango"

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 20:17:58 GMT

Title: Black Knights’ Tango
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, gen.
Characters: Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,852
Summary: “Heard something interesting the other day,” Raymie said. “Thought you might want to know.” Jack took a drag from his cigarette and waited. “Rumor has it Eric Kendall is in love.” (Or, Mr. Jack Delafield, of the California Delafields, formally invites you to witness the start of his weird, stalkery descent into darkness. As before, the original short story can be found here.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( Raymie was waiting near the fan palms like he said he’d be, in a light brown suit and a matching Panama. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Madwoman's Chess"

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 02:21:29 GMT

Title: Madwoman’s Chess
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, romance.
Characters/pairings: Paula Ingram/Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2,163
Summary: There had been at least a couple times that day where she easily could have broken away or alerted someone about her predicament. The pilot of the airplane Red had chartered, for instance. Or the hotel clerk, when he signed them in after their landing in California. But she hadn’t. And…why? (Or, Paula self-reflects as she gets ready for the masquerade ball. As before, the original short story can be found here.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( Freshly bathed and about to step into an 18th century style dress, complete with wig and mask, there was a big part of Paula that couldn’t believe she was actually going through with this. )

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[fic] Her Friend, the Burglar - "A Thief In the Night"

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 15:52:58 GMT

Title: A Thief In the Night
Fandom: Her Friend, the Burglar (Short Story)
Genre: Gen, romance.
Characters/pairings: Doris Lawton/The Burglar
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,632
Summary: After a few days at the seaside resort, Doris began to realize just how silly it was to expect the burglar to show up. (Or, a post-canon fic based on yet another pulp story that no one has read since it was originally published. The basic gist: An office worker accidentally gets locked in a vault after-hours, and ends up being saved by a burglar who just happens to break in that night. He lets her go free, but complications arise when all the incidental evidence points to her being the thief, or at least an accomplice. Said burglar later bails her out, and then—because she was such a good sport and didn’t immediately report him to the police—sends her a wad of cash he stole from her now-former boss. Heroine happily goes on vacation, the end.)

While this is technically a fanfic, in all honesty, it probably reads as original fic. Anyway, if you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( Sure, he’d gifted her all that money, but that was just…well…a momentary bout of kindness, she suspected. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "En Prise"

Sun, 24 Oct 2021 19:24:39 GMT

Title: En Prise
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, romance.
Characters/pairings: Paula Ingram/Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 468
Summary: It had been one thing to watch Monty Lewis kiss her. The same could not be said for Eric Kendall. (Missing/expanded scene. Could be considered a companion piece of sorts to this fic, as the one picks up right where the other leaves off. Also, as before, the original short story can be read here.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( It had nothing to do with jealousy, he insisted to himself. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Clever Crab On This Eastern Seashore"

Tue, 12 Oct 2021 21:12:44 GMT

Title: Clever Crab On This Eastern Seashore
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, angst, gen
Characters: Red (Jack Delafield), Koti
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,521
Summary: Even sea bream is not delicious when eaten alone. (Or, the tale of a Japanese immigrant and his dumbass, adopted, white-boy son. Fix-it fic for the original story’s sketchy racial politics.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( Christ, was this really what his life had come to, kidnapping a girl simply so he could have something resembling a date? )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Checkmate"

Sun, 10 Oct 2021 17:35:20 GMT

Title: Checkmate
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, romance, horror?
Characters/pairings: Paula Ingram/Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,205
Summary: For a sick moment, reality tilted, then snapped back into place with horrifying clarity. “You!” she gasped. “You, Red, and the butler, Benson, are the same! You got that place in my home just to find out about me, didn’t you?” (Expanded scene from the short story. As before, you can find more details in the pre-fic notes of this story.)

So yes, this is an expanded scene from the original story. The dialogue remains almost entirely unchanged, along with the actual action(s), but I beefed up the surrounding prose (mostly because there was so very little of it to begin with).

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( She backed up a shaky step as the full weight of the situation settled on her like a nightmare. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "Zugzwang"

Thu, 07 Oct 2021 20:56:14 GMT

Title: Zugzwang
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, romance.
Characters/pairings: Paula Ingram/Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 953
Summary: Eric—her dear, sweet Eric—a thief! (Or, that awkward moment when you 1.) discover your long-distance bf is actually a piece of shit, and 2.) realize you’re in love with the dude who kidnapped you.)

(Related to this fic, which also contains a plot summary of the canon in the pre-fic notes, because again, no one has read the original short story since the 1930s.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( Upon rushing back into the ballroom, Paula found the first glass of champagne she could and downed half of it in one gulp. )

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[fic] The Love Pawn - "En Passant"

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 22:23:16 GMT

Title: En Passant
Fandom: The Love Pawn (Short Story)
Genre: Drama, romance?
Characters/pairings: Paula Ingram/Red (Jack Delafield)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,370
Summary: She glared up at him, though she tried to not be too obvious about it. “I thought I was supposed to be looking for my true love,” she said tartly. “I’ve seen you hold down a full conversation with one of your girlfriends while dancing,” he shot back coolly. “Don’t tell me you can’t manage merely looking around. Besides, this will give you a better vantage point than simply sticking to one side of the room.” (Or, tropetastic enemies-to-lovers involving kidnapping, a masquerade ball, and a proposed bank robbery.)

(Absolutely no one has read this short story since the 1930s, so don’t worry if you aren’t familiar with it, I give a rundown of the plot in the pre-fic notes for context.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( ''Any sign of your dear, darling Eric?'' )

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[fic] This Gun For Hire (1942) - "But the Tables Have Turned"

Tue, 21 Sep 2021 21:53:35 GMT

Title: But the Tables Have Turned
Fandom: This Gun For Hire (1942)
Genre: AU, drama, romance.
Characters/pairings: Philip Raven/Ellen Graham
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 494
Summary: She’s in love with a killer, she tells herself, repeatedly. (Takes place sometime after the events of They’ll Ask Me Why and I’ll Tell Them I’d Rather.)

Notes: Follows the same continuity as my other TGFH fics, which is to say: Raven somehow escaped at the end of the film.

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( She doesn’t do it out of a twisted form of self-torture, but merely as an acknowledgment of the fact. )

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[fic] Black Angel (1946) - " 'Til Stars of Evening Cease To Burn"

Thu, 09 Sep 2021 16:44:33 GMT

Title: ’Til Stars of Evening Cease To Burn
Fandom: Black Angel (1946)
Genre: Drama, general.
Characters: Catherine Bennett (implied Marty/Catherine)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 318
Summary: She doesn’t drink Coke anymore. (Post-film character study, with bonus metaphysics.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( She drinks soda water instead these days, the occasional 7-Up, coffee and tea and the even rarer cocktail. But never, oh never, does she go anywhere near Coke. )

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[fic] Black Angel (1946) - "While I'm In Your Spell"

Wed, 08 Sep 2021 19:12:04 GMT

Title: While I’m In Your Spell
Fandom: Black Angel (1946)
Genre: Drama, friendship, general.
Characters: Catherine Bennett, Martin Blair (slight Marty/Catherine)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,469
Summary: “Are you sure you’re a musician and not a costume director?” He glanced back and laughed in that short, wry way of his. “Maybe I missed my calling, huh?” (Or, the one where Marty plays fashion consultant.)

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( ''Have you thought about what you’re going to wear?'' )

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[fic] Black Angel (1946) - "When Nothing Daunts You"

Mon, 06 Sep 2021 20:17:17 GMT

Title: When Nothing Daunts You
Fandom: Black Angel (1946)
Genre: Drama, general.
Characters: Catherine Bennett
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 318
Summary: Sometimes when it’s dark, and she’s alone with her thoughts, Catherine thinks of Mavis Marlowe. (Post-film character study.)

For sovay, because you got me thinking of this film again.

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( There’s no anger anymore, nor even pity, really. )

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[fic?] Catherine and the Pirate (The Reformed Criminal Remix) - Chapter 11

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 19:02:30 GMT

Title: Catherine and the Pirate (The Reformed Criminal Remix)
Genre: Historical romance.
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2,372
Summary: A rewrite of the book, Catherine and the Pirate. Full summary and chapter index can be found here.

FYI, you can now find this story over on AO3!

( Chapter 11: In which Uncle Elliot is still pissed, and also in over his head. )

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[fic] This Gun For Hire (1942) - "I'm Not Yours Anymore, You're Mine"

Sat, 26 Jun 2021 19:14:42 GMT

Title: I’m Not Yours Anymore, You’re Mine
Fandom: This Gun For Hire (1942)
Genre: AU, drama, angst, gen.
Characters/pairings: Ellen Graham (Michael/Ellen and implied Raven/Ellen)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,330
Summary: She hates him, she thinks. She hates him for having the decency to disappear from her life, but the cruelty to linger everywhere else. (Or, Ellen and the aftermath of trauma.)

Notes: Follows the same continuity as my other TGFH fics, which is to say: Raven somehow escaped at the end of the film.

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so on AO3!

( The weariness hits her in the afternoon, at the station, when she’s coming up on thirty-two hours without any substantial amount of sleep. )

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